>> Sunday, August 2, 2009
Have you ever had that feeling like no matter what, you will never compare to someone else? I have had that feeling lately and I have had to learn to be okay with not being equal with them...knowing that I rank lower than those that I compare myself to. It is a hard place to be in and no one that I know enjoys it. But I am coming to find out that no matter how much we try to avoid it, we all find ourselves in this situation at one point or another. In the midst of it all, we feel like we are the fish at the bottom of the barrel - the unwanted ones. At some point we have to come to grips with reality but it isn't easy. It is difficult to accept that we will never be what we want to be to others; we will not rank on their list where they rank on our's. But as I can testify from experience, it is easier on yourself to just accept it and move on. But for some reason in this situation, I am having a really hard time accepting it and moving on. I wonder if it is because these people treat me noticeably different than others, or because I don't want to give up on the hope of one day meaning as much to these people as they mean to me. It brings me to tears to think about it. O well...such is life I guess.